10.23.25 // 11:41pm-3:16am

I recently got home from meeting with redacted and redacted at redacted. We were catching up and chatting about ways we can work together for the redacted aspect of things. I don't want to deal with that part and he has the licensing for it. So I can essentially "work under" him to do my mocktails and coffee. I enjoyed my time at redacted. I see how it could improve, but it seems like a nice spot to do events.

It clicked for me today that people are willing to pay at least double what I want to charge for my events, and I'll be providing more than I've seen others do. I'm glad I'm in a position where I can keep things affordable for people. No matter what situation I'm in, I'm committed to keeping it affordable for people. I'm really excited to start doing events again! We're visiting redacted next. I've been there a few times for past events and it was nice, I enjoyed it. I'm going to draft event ideas for venues to have an idea of what I do. Right now I plan on charging 30-45 per ticket depending on what's included. Occasionally I'll do lower cost and free events.

I have control of my time back. I need to utilize it the best I can and do things I've been day dreaming of. One of those was going out to a new place to scope it out, so I'm glad that was accomplished today. Other things on that list are hosting creative events and doing concert photography again. I have to get used to redacted by myself again. I can do it alone, it's just easier and more fun with other people.

Anyway, I'm still getting comfortable with being here. Today redacted and redacted helped me change the oil in my car. That was a huge help, it really needed to be done. I like being here, but I'm still getting used to accepting help without the guilt. It's difficult to understand how much these people care about my well being simply because they want to help. I'm the same way, but rarely receive help with no strings attached. Of course I help out here when I can. I clean up every now and then, I try to stay out of the way. I'm starting to think I'm not really "in the way" here. They've been very reassuring that I'm welcome here and that's helpful.

Everything still seems so surreal. I was homeless for a while. I didn't know how beneficial a stable living environment can really be. Now my mind isn't so occupied stressing about where I'm going to stay. I can focus more on taking care of myself. I still haven't learned how to do that properly. I'm learning how to prioritize myself again. It's difficult to provide for myself when I don't always know what it is I need. My mind is an enigma at times.

I'm still going through different time lines and it has been interesting. Perhaps I shall start another journal to document my travels there. Perhaps documenting it will help me learn how to control it better. I recently became aware of this ability. It can be a very useful and powerful tool once I learn how to use it to my advantage. Anyway, I'll share more about all that as I learn.

Writing has been helpful in some ways. I want to do it more often but I often get lost in it and more time passes than I anticipate. But I feel this is something I'm meant to do during this chapter of my life. I'm meant to write for the world to read one day. Raw and unfiltered. Well, only filtered through my head. At times I'm unsure what to write. It just flows out as it should. I would like to account more for the daily progress/lessons I learn. I suppose knowing what to write will become easier as I do this.

I want to begin a video diary on redacted so I can share my thoughts and experiences with the world or whoever is meant to see it. This place is so interesting. Human beings are so interesting. I enjoy learning how they function. I observe everything I can, analyze, and learn. This practice is constant. Well, I should rest for now. I'll write more here soon.